Slow Parenting

Perhaps I am a bit late to the game, but I just discovered the term "slow parenting." Although he doesn't claim to have coined it, apparently the term stems from the book Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting by Carl Honoré, who also penned The Power of Slow: Finding Balance and Fulfillment Beyond the Cult of Speed which looks at our society's obsession with speed and got its inspiration from the Slow Food Movement and it's founder, Carlo Petrini.

Familiar with the Slow Food Movement, I was terrifically hopeful that "slow" in this case had similarly morphed into a term that meant more than lack of speed, something like "authentic" or "mindful" or "artful" or better yet, a conglomeration of all three. Because then I would have the perfect term to hang my parenting ideology hat upon.

And perhaps that is exactly what the term will become, or even what Under Pressure points to (it's on my t0-read list), but the few resources I've found using the term thus far sorta sell it short.

This New York Times article, for example, which essentially equates the term with kicking back, martini in hand, because you don't feel the need to get the kids to soccer practice. You're simply too chill, you see.

No, I'd rather it meant that you choose not to sign your five-year-old up for soccer because practices are at 6:00 pm and family dinners trump extracurricular activities. Or you choose to teach your kindergartner how to make blueberry pie rather than letting her watch Strawberry Shortcake cartoons. Or you choose to clear your schedule for an entire weekend so that you and your kids can dig out all the weedy trees at the edge of your yard, fill the resulting hole with compost, and diligently plant vegetable seeds of all kinds (or perhaps, spend a sunny weekend lounging at the beach, building sand castles and exploring the tide pools).

I'm looking for a term, you see, that defines the way we do things. We're not hippies. We're attachment-types, but now with nursing, baby-wearing, and co-sleeping quickly fading into the past, the term doesn't feel so much ours anymore. We don't fall under the umbrella of Christian Parenting, or even Buddhist Parenting (I'd join that club if I could find other members though).

Who knows what I'd even do with the term if I found it. It's not like I'd introduce myself as a "Slow Parent," (that would be kinda funny) or limit myself to a particular circle of friends based on that philosophy.

Maybe it's just the comfort of knowing your tribe. Knowing you're not completely crazy when you don't sign up for soccer or ballet or whatever because you genuinely want your kids to understand that spending time together as a family is important. More important than being busy.